Fall Break is Over

Fall break just ended...now back in school...done with classes for the day...homework for tomorrow is done mostly, not completely, but many projects to be thinking about since the semester is half over. This contributes to the general lugubriousness of days: should be working...no motivation...but just suck it up. I was rather motivated this morning; hence, I got all my homework for tomorrow done, but when it comes to earnestly working on stuff in the one to two month range, I lack motivation, unless I get really excited. I'm not too worried actually...because things almost always work out. I've been in this situation numerous times and each time I've succeeded in working it out. Absolute failure has never really happened to me (though very nearly in Budapest), but the thought of it looms very often, but not as much now as has in the past...doing better at letting go of attachment, not perfect yet though...can't expect it all at once though. Part of my success in this has come from willfully not doing assignments. Of course, in Budapest when I did that (actually did) it just freaked me out, but here it has a calming quality...so can't make a general principle that not doing homework helps one release attachments, but it has worked here...making progress in that. Life is too short to have attachment...got to be cool even when things are down, down, down. Even when the whole fucking world is passing you buy shouting imperatives at you...just be cool, let it go, move on, progress, transcend their universals like a good Kierkegaard Abraham, take sabbath, not enough sabbath in this fool's palace, this palace of fools, wrought from red-eye toil. The ousia is more, to get to the parousia. Indeed.